Finding Life
by linkjames24
Summary: Saitama finally went to college to live with his aunt after his father got someone else pregnant. The wonders of the world never ceased to amaze him.
1. Chapter 1

**Finding Life: Level One**

 **OoO**

Saitama was moving out of his house. He carried a large green camp bag which held all of his clothes, ignoring the odd looks of the people on the sidewalk beside him as he trekked the journey to K City, passing gray and white buildings and skyscrapers and the crowded pedestrians walking the streets.

He'd rather still be sleeping, but his father insisted that early bird gets the worm. Whatever the hell that meant.

It was college, after all. One does not simply live with their father when they're finally living the dream; getting a stadium apartment and doing God knows what in order to get a "taste of college life".

It probably helped that his dad managed to get some random girl pregnant and kicked him out to make room in their small house.

Damn that father of his. So freaking irresponsible!

Saitama passed by a mirror shop and checked his reflection from the mirrors on the display window. He donned a white polo over a yellow shirt, white jeans, and red rubber shoes. He almost felt comfortable if it wasn't for one glaring fact; his bald head. Yes, despite being a teenager on the prime of his life, Saitama has gone bold. For the life of him he didn't know why.

Still, he decided to enter the mirror store and buy a small mirror, if only to keep looking at his reflection and check up on his shining head. Repeating the words, he realized how much he sounded. Shaking his head, he said, "God. I sound so narcissistic."

He stepped on the red welcome mat of the mirror store. All sorts of mirrors hanged on the red walls of the store. As he continued further inside, he found the counter and the cashier, talking to another customer.

"No, I do not have your money!" The cashier said.

Saitama tilted his head. Was there a business transaction going on?

The cashier was a balding man who erred on the heavy side of the weighing scale. Fat, rude people would call him. Saitama was taught manners by his old man so he knew better. The cashier also had a large nose, a missing tooth and wore a blue coat over a white tank top, stained with cheese sauce on the left collar.

"This won't go well with the Green Family, I'll have you know." The customer said. The customer wore a green knit cap over shoulder length blonde hair, green eyes, and had a muscular build even through his gray shirt and black cargo pants and black boots. "You have a nice store here too. Shame if something…" He chuckled, "Were to happen to it."

The cashier narrowed his eyes. "You dare threaten me!? After all the money I've given you and your ilk. I have had enough! No more ' _protection money_ ' is going to come from me, understood!?"

The customer sighed. And then he pulled out a black pistol and shot the wall behind the cashier, piercing through the mirror hanging on the wall. The mirror cracked and shards fell to the floor, clattering about. The customer waved his handgun lazily as he leaned on the counter.

"Give me. The money." He pointed at the shaking cashier with disdain. "Or next time it's going to be you eating that bullet. And I'll make sure to add your blood to the color of this store."

"Please." The cashier begged. "I barely have enough for my daughter's college." He cried.

The customer smirked. "We'll fix that after you give me the money you creep."

Despite his fears, the tears running through his eyes, and the sweat soaking through his shirt, the cashier shook his head and said, "No."

The customer straightened and shrugged. "Oh well."

And he pointed the gun at the cashier, intending to pull the trigger.

Saitama intervened. A moment he was at the entrance, and the next he stood by the customer.

"That's enough of that." Saitama said, blocking the muzzle as he expected what the customer would do next.

"What!" The customer screamed in surprise, nearly jumping as he did so. He pulled the trigger repeatedly and the cashier's eyes widened as shock entered his body, imagining his blood and brains staining the wall.

Smoke rose from Saitama's fist. However, that was all. The bullet didn't even pierce his skin, jamming the gun as the customer pulled the trigger again and again, staring dead straight into Saitama with blossoming fear in his eyes.

The gun, overheating, caught Saitama's attention. His eyes fell to the customer's hand and then back to his face. "You know," Saitama said, "Your hand's gonna melt if you keep this up." The customer looked at him in confusion before glancing down his hand.

"Ah!" The customer screamed, finally letting go of his gun as he looked at his burned palm. "My hand! You son of a bitch!" The customer raised a fist and threw it at Saitama's face, intending to break his cheek.

Saitama looked at the customer in mild fascination. He already saw Saitama block bullets with his bare hand. Did he really think flesh and bones is going to make a difference? Simply to satisfy his curiosity more than anything else, Saitama did nothing to block the fist. The customer grinned as his fist touched Saitama's face, hearing the sounds of crushed flesh.

"How'd you like me now, punk? Just because my gun jammed doesn't mean I can't break your cheekbones with my own fist!" He began laughing manically.

"Uh, it wasn't my face that broke." Saitama said, looking even more curious as he added, "It was your fist."

The customer looked Saitama's face, and the blood stain on his undamaged cheek, and then at his fist. "Eh?" His fingers were shattered of his own choice, and blood leaked through his broken hand.

"That's why people should wear boxing gloves." Saitama said amicably, pointing a finger to the ceiling as he did so. "It protects the hands of the attacker more than the body of the defender. See, our hands aren't meant to sustain a lot of impacts punching solid objects. Otherwise we'd end up with fractured fists like yours."

The customer gaped at him, and then screamed. "Shut the fuck up!" He raised his other hand, ready to continue fighting.

Saitama, finally losing interest in the customer, punched his chest through the display window, shattering the window as the customer fell to the sidewalk outside the store, covering his body with shards of broken glass.

"Uh." Saitama pointed at the display window in shock, and then back to the cashier. "Um, I didn't mean to do that?"

He had to get out of there, before the cashier calls the police or the Heroes Association.

He didn't feel like doing community service right now either.

The cashier took heavy breaths as he absorbed the situation. Saitama, standing in front of the counter. Broken glass from the display window. And an unconscious person outside the shop.

"Listen, listen," Saitama said, raising his arms to placate the man. "I know you have that urge to call the police with your cell phone and everything, but I implore you to think otherwise. Come on man!" Saitama said, feeling his heart ready to burst through his chest as the cashier ducked down the counter. "I said I'm sorry!"

The cashier picked up a duffel bag. "Y-Your name?"

"S-S-Sa-Sai…" Saitama clenched his teeth. Why oh why did he think it was a good idea to go to a shop today of all days!

The cashier nodded. "Thank you." He said. Saitama tilted his head and looked curiously. That was not what he expected an angry man would say. "This bag was left by that punk outside. I can deposit the rest of it under my daughter's account, and now I'll know that for the rest of her life she'll be well off."

He opened the duffel bag. Saitama's jaw opened so wide he thought it hit the floor as he stared at the large amounts of money inside. There's got to be millions at least!

"That's right." The cashier said shakily, smiling as he did so. "I'm thankful a man such as you showed up. Instead of losing my life, I gained a new one. There's at least a hundred million yen here."

"H-hundred million?" Saitama said.

"Yeah." The cashier nodded. "If it were anyone else I'd be worried to trust them. But I knew I could count on you, Sai."

"Wait my name's not-"

"Here." The cashier took out a large bill of cash. "It's not much, just being a hundred thousand yen, but I know you'll understand, right? I have to look out for my little girl too." The cashier said, looking desperately for something from Saitama.

He thought of declining the offer, but remembered the little amount of money his father gave him.

He could use some cash.

"R-right." Saitama said, excitement seeping through his bones as he accepted the offer and took the cash.

This was unreal.

"Thank you." The cashier nodded gratefully.

Closing the duffel bag, he carried it with him as he rushed to the backdoor of the shop.

Finally, Saitama was alone.

"Unreal." He muttered, feeling giddy at the cash in his pocket. Clapping his jeans where his money would be, Saitama felt like a whole new man and left the store happier.

"I didn't get the mirror, but this much cash more than makes up for it." He chirped. Holding the straps of his bag, he continued his walk to the city, ignoring the honks of the cars stuck in traffic, the noisy sounds of pictures being taken by the crowd surrounding the display window, and the groaning customer lying on the sidewalk.

Saitama went on his merry way.

 **OoO**

"Dude, what are you wearing?" Murakami asked.

Saitama lazily waved at his odd acquaintance. Murakami was a man with short brown hair, brown eyes, a pretty generic face, and was wearing a black suit.

Looking him over, Saitama concluded. "Sorry, I'm not interested in wearing a monkey suit."

Murakami gaped at him. "Monkey suit? Saitama, this was mandatory, bro! We're going to college now, man. Shouldn't you like, I don't know, try harder with your clothes? It checks on with the ladies."

They sat on two stone benches with a stone table between them. A tree shaded their bodies from the heat, and wind passed by, cooling their skin. The ground below them was sporting healthy green grass, surrounded by pathways to and from buildings across the university.

Students milled about, freshmen like them enjoying the scenery and making friends with the more matured and well knowing sophomores and juniors while seniors rushed to make their thesis and defenses against the army of teachers waiting for them at the end of the semester.

"Hey, isn't that odd?" Saitama said suddenly.

"What? That K City hasn't been destroyed by tree monsters?" Murakami joked, leaning on the oak tree as he crossed his arms.

"No, man. Sick." Saitama said. "What I'm saying is, isn't there some kind of freshmen orientation or something for us newbies?"

"Hmm. Oh yeah." Murakami said, smiling.

Saitama nodded, also smiling.

"So why the hell aren't we doing anything?" Saitama asked, still smiling.

Murakami shrugged. "Well, what's the point of being in a room full of strangers if there's no one I know, am I right?" Murakami said.

"Hey look, punks who think they're hot shit cutting classes." A voice said.

"Eh?" Saitama searched for the source.

A red haired man with freckles, muscled shoulders, and wearing a black shirt and shorts jumped from the slope of the covered walkway towards them, sliding to the foot of the slope as he did so.

"How'd you even know we're freshmen?" Saitama asked, amazed at this man's keen eyes.

"Psh. Like hell I wouldn't recognize new people when I've been here longer." The man said.

"He's also a fratboy." Murakami said, glaring at the man. "A drunk one at that, if the alcohol I can smell from his mouth is any indication."

"Dude, it's not cool to go to school drunk, m'kay?" Saitama said, wagging his finger as he did so. "Now go home and sleep before you hurt someone else with your bad smell." Alcohol does not match Saitama's sense of smelling, and any longer might make him sick. Granted, he's never been sick, but better safe than sorry.

"You punks think you could cut classes and tell me what to do!?" The senior screamed, gathering attention from a crowd of students from the walkway and the benches near them.

"What you say to me, punk!?" The senior said.

"Saitama, let's just go." Murakami whispered, looking worried.

"Nah, man. It's cool." Saitama waved Muaraki's worries as he stood and faced the taller man. "What do you want to say to me, then?"

"I said," The senior clenched his fist. "Respect your seniors!" He threw a punch.

Saitama wouldn't get hurt by this level of attack. Hell, he doubted he could get hurt by anything these days. But to get hit by this drunkard was the same as not dodging spit thrown at him.

Saitama ducked under the punch and side stepped the second, throwing his own at the senior's chest. The senior flew to the slope, crashing against it as he did so. He groaned, falling into unconsciousness.

Respect? This 'role model'? And he used the term _role model_ lightly.

"Only when you're sober." Saitama said.

"OH!" The crowd went wild with cheers.

"Stupid idiot." Murakami said. He got up and stood beside Saitama, looking over the drunkard.

"Look at him. So drunk he couldn't even stay conscious." Murakami said. "Scumbag drunks like him was the reason I dreaded going to this place."

"What?" Saitama looked at his acquaintance. "You mean college?" He crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes. "Now I know peer pressure might get to you, but don't let that discourage you from going to school, Murakami."

"Yeah?" Murakami tapped Saitama's shoulder. Saitama opened his eyes and looked, finding his right cheek pressed to Murakami's pointer finger. He glanced at Murakami's grinning face. Murakami pointed up the slope to the walkway where a familiar person gazed.

Looking down on them, arms over her chest stood a beautiful woman with a voluptuous frame. The left side of her hair curled to resemble a drill, and her alluring eyes looked at Saitama judgmentally. Her frilly pink turtleneck and high cut slit pencil skirt spoke of elegance combined with her natural beauty, but her gaze burned with intensity as she glared at her student.

"Ah. You're in trouble now, Saitama-chan!" Murakami laughed. "Should've let that drunk piece of work fall unconscious by himself."

Saitama shrugged. "He hit first. It was self defense." Saitama kept his gaze cool even as he stared back at the woman.

"Saitama, don't you know who she is? That's the associate professor of this university." Murakami said. "Also our history teacher." He buried his hands down his pocket. "Come on man. Stop staring!" He hissed.

"Hey auntie." Saitama waved at the associate professor lazily.

"With me. Right now, nephew. "She said, words as cold as they were restrained.

"Wait. What?" Murakami gaped. Saitama put his hands behind his neck as he walked up the slope towards his aunt. He ignored the words of people saying he was in trouble, and that he was going to get it now, as he stood by his auntie and followed her as she started walking the pathway away from the drunkard.

"What was that?" She asked him.

"Me, defending myself?" Saitama looked at the clear blue sky.

"While you missed freshmen orientation?" She continued.

"Eh, I was already late." Saitama kicked a pebble.

"So in addition to cutting classes, you also picked a fight and made a scene as you went at it." She said, facing Saitama.

He leaned against a lamp post. "Eh. If you're going to lecture me I might as well cut the rest of the semester. I didn't plan on living with you anyway. That was dad's suggestion. I could always crash with Murakami if I have to. Dude is eager to make money."

"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow. "And you? You have money?"

"Been saving." Saitama shrugged. He was thankful for that cashier, now more than ever. "Not like it matters if you're just going to be my annoying teacher instead of being my worried auntie."

She kept her gaze even, and he stared back with equal patience. Finally relenting, she caved in and sighed. "I'm going to collaborate with you two. That friend of yours will have no worry talking bad about the unconscious drunk since they have a bad history, and the words of a teacher will always be taken over those of a student's anyway."

Saitama finally broke into a smile. "Knew I could count on you."

His aunt bit her lip, restraining herself from joining him. Instead she lightly punched his shoulder. "Do stupid shit again and you're on your own. Okay?"

"Mhm. Whatever you say, Kaoruko." Saitama said.

This was his auntie, Kaoruko. He knew her for quite some time, having already moved his stuff in her place months earlier. But he felt like he knew her longer. A memory evaded him, but blurs returned now and again, of a younger self playing with a teenaged version of his aunt.

In some ways, she was the closest he had to a friend.

Not like he'd ever admit it. And, he thought – looking at her smirking face – neither would she.

"Can't wait to move into your condominium! It's going to be a blast!" Saitama said.

"It won' be easy." Kaoruko warned him, briefly closing her eyes as she said so. "You're going to have to do chores there too."

"Oh right. And rent. Crap." Saitama said. Looking at her though, for a moment he thought her gaze – what little he found from her one opened eye – looked more amorous than normal.

And then it was gone. Kaoruko merely stuck her tongue out, one eye open, and pressed a finger to her chin. "We'll talk about it when we get there."

 **OoO**

 **Author's notes;** Basically, Saitama replaces Terumi. This story takes place in a fictional city in Saitama's world. So yes, I'm combining the slice of life theme of Minamoto-kun Monogatari with the superhero genre of One Punch Man.


	2. Chapter 2

**Finding Life: Level Two**

 **OoO**

Has anyone ever felt attraction for their relative? He sure did. Since they rode her car back home, he'd sometimes think Kaoruko was pressing a little too close, constantly bumping her body with his, and opened his side of the door when they got out, pressing her breasts against his thighs as she did so.

It was a slow, painful process.

Saitama didn't know what to think about himself, and about the possibility that he was getting feelings for his admittedly _attractive_ , **hot** auntie who was seated on the chair in the library of her house.

"When did you grow up?" Saitama joked, trying to obtain some form of levity in the situation. He didn't know what changed since they left school, but he didn't like it. He knew in advance, due to enhanced extra-sensory perception he's obtained since he trained for his newfound abilities, that tensions were about to get higher than lower in this house.

"Sit down." Kaoruko said, crossing her legs and enhancing the view on her beautiful thighs as she did so. Wearing a short pencil skirt tend to do that.

Saitama sat on the chair facing hers, with a small table between them. He looked at the bookshelves behind her and around them, forming walls of papers sewn with knowledge. He didn't want to read all that, but maybe a distraction from this atmosphere is needed.

One book caught his eye, and he read it out loud.

"The tale of Genji," Saitama said, finding it curious. It was a distant memory, like child running outside his house playing in the meadow under the sunny sky. There was someone else there too, an older girl, playing with the child until a light breeze touches passes by, cooling their body.

He didn't know why that came up either. There was no meadow in his house, only houses and walls expanding exponentially until it reached the city or the outskirts.

Saitama shook his head. Oddly enough, Kaoruko was silent as she stared at him. It was slightly uncomfortable.

"Um, is there something in my face?" He asked.

Kaoruko slightly tilted her head. "Do you still have a hatred of women?"

Saitama blinked. "No?"

"Back then, at the school, you didn't seem to care that you missed out on the orientation. You didn't care that you knocked one of your drunk seniors unconscious. And you didn't care when your teacher, aunt, and the person whose house you'll live in went and lectured you. That was disrespectful by the way."

Kaoruko said nothing after that. She merely kept her eyes on him, legs crossed and arms on her lap.

"I…" Saitama didn't know how to tell her that he didn't hate women, that he didn't get angry at enemies, that he didn't care if he failed or not.

He didn't feel anything.

Well, he still felt attraction, but he was pretty sure that was more of a biological imperative than something coming out of his heart.

Kaoruko ran her pointer finger up her thigh, slightly pulling her pencil skirt higher.

Saitama gulped and looked away.

"Yes?" Kaoruko said, after one minute of silence.

"I… I don't feel much, anymore." Saitama's hands met, his fingers interlaced, and his posture slouching slightly as he looked at the clean floor. "I don't hate because I can't. It's been so long since I've felt anything anymore. I think, I might be going through an existential crisis."

"Like dysthymia," Kaoruko said, referring to the depressive mood disorder characterized by chronic and persistent mild depression.

"Like that." Saitama sighed, feeling his heart sink at the thought that he needed to take medicines so early in his life.

"If, if I were to disappear from the world today, I don't think it would affect anyone. But that doesn't really matter to me." Saitama chuckled. "I think it's more of the fact that no matter what I'll do, I'll never find satisfaction in anything. Pretty selfish, huh?"

Kaoruko kept quiet, merely processing the scene before her. He must've looked pathetic, he thought. Couldn't even last a week without asking for help. Not like it mattered.

"It's not selfish," She said.

"Huh?" Saitama switched his gaze upward, from the floor to the woman facing him.

Kaoruko smiled. It made Saitama's heart beat in ways that made him uncomfortable.

"There's nothing wrong with looking out for yourself, or finding meaning in your own life." Kaoruko reached her arm over the table until she found his hand, squeezing it lightly with her smaller, softer one. She gently pulled Saitama's until both hands were at the center of the table.

"Which characters from The Tale of Genji do you like?"

"Um…"

She ignored him and closed her eyes, imagining something from far away as she continued. "My favorite is Lady Murakasi. The idea of raising an abandoned child into the type of mate you'd like. Isn't that wonderful?"

Her eyes opened, glinting with excitement. "It would be pretty boring if I'd just have you live here, so become part of my research."

Her other arm reached for his face, gently pressing her fingers against his skin and slowly cupping his cheek.

"I'll make sure to help you feel again."

Her smile was like the light of a rising sun.

 **OoO**

It was hours later while Saitama was taking a stroll in the city under the night sky that he thought back to the events that transpired earlier.

He still couldn't believe it.

The commercial district of K City was just as active in the night as it was during the day. Traffic was ongoing, students and people in suits populated the streets. Saitama ignored each and every single one of them as he tried thinking of what he should do next.

He still had that money from the guy he saved earlier today, but he didn't actually feel like using it. It was just deposited to his account, saved for a rainy day in case of emergencies.

Now? Now he needed to sort out his thoughts before he did something stupid.

Movement from the alleyway caught his attention.

Saitama entered the dark alley, ignoring the cockroach that passed by him. A cat jumped from a trashcan, landing on a fire escape and ran up. There was a mumbling homeless man from the dumpster to his left as he continued surveying the alleyway.

At the end of the alleyway, at the foot of the brick wall, were human skeletons with bits of flesh and blood sticking to the ground and wall.

The homeless man got up, green eyes glowing in stark contrast to the dark alley.

"I'm surprised someone would wander around this place, but wanderlust does that to people, I've come to understand. In the end, humans will always be pathetic."

An unsettling grin revealed large teeth, larger than what humans could fit in their mouth. And there was a little flesh too, of the humans he's eaten.

"Are you ready to die like the human you are?" The monster asked, giggling.

"You asked me if I was going to die." Saitama said, keeping his eyes on the bones. Slowly, ever so slowly, he faced the monster. _"Are you?"_

The monster laughed, froth leaking from his mouth and mixing with the trash of the dumpster he called his bed.

"Squirm human filth!" The monster screamed, blasting off the dumpster and shattering steel as he reached the upper parts of the alley-wall. For any other human he must've made an ominous sight, looming over them as he hanged between the walls.

Within the blink of an eye the monster leapt, head-first towards Saitama. Claws formed from where hands should be, dripping with the blood of his victims and ready to draw more. He passed Saitama, the sound of flesh accompanying his landing as he kneeled before the skeletons of his victims like a worshipper before their shrine.

The monster gasped in pain, holding the lump where his right arm was. "M-my arm!?"

Saitama lazily held the arm at his side as he kept his eyes on the monster.

"Oh." Saitama looked at the arm he held like it was a piece of trash. He threw it with such strength that it tore a hole through the wall. "You dropped something."

"How!? You're just a lowly human!" The monster hissed in disbelief that a mere human could tear its limp from its shoulder.

"People always say don't play with your food." Saitama said, tilting his head. "I'm done playing."

The monster hissed, raising its other claw. It actually wanted to fight Saitama with a missing arm. The situation would've been hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic.

Saitama raised an arm and punched. One blow was all it took to stain the broken wall with inhuman flesh and blood. The monster fell to its knees, missing two arms, looking up to Saitama like a man looked up to god.

"Okay! I surrender! Don't kill me!" The monster pleaded, begging for its life.

Silence met its gasps and cries.

The monster had expected another victim, and no resistance. It probably assumed that this was merely another food and not much else. It would use its strength as a monster and play with the defenseless humans for a while before it tore them bit by bit.

Instead the reverse happened. It was now the one kneeling, crying and begging for its life, with one arm shattered and the other coloring the wall.

"Well?" It screamed. "I give up! You got me! Now call the Heroes Association to lock me up! I'm sorry!"

Saitama blinked, sighed, and scratched his ear.

"How boring."

He threw a punch.

 **OoO**

" _It seems there was a fight between monsters in the alleyway earlier. A territorial battle, by the looks of it. The corpse of the dead monster was splattered against the ground and wall. Oddly enough one pair of its eye is missing, while the other one intact seems to have glowing emerald minerals I place of its pupils and sclera-"_

Kaoruko turned off the television as an object swung in front of her. She looked up from the couch, overlooking the backrest and finding Saitama looking back at her with a gift.

"What's this?" Kaoruko asked, amusement in her voice as she stood up and poked the glowing green eye.

"I, um, wanted you to have it." Saitama said, scratching his neck. "I know it's not much, but I sort of consider that a lucky charm."

Kaoruko held the black lace, played with the eye briefly, and with barely withheld laughter returned her gaze at Saitama. "You know I'm not wearing this in public, right?"

"Um, you don't have to wear it at all. Here, give me that." He said, intending to throw it away. It was a stupid idea anyway. Maybe he should peel off the flesh and just tie the lace around the emerald instead?

Kaoruko slapped his hand away.

"Nope," She turned her backside to him. "I am keeping this, if only to remind you to get me better gifts."

"Ouch." Saitama chuckled.

"Come here," kaoruko said, "Help me put it on."

Saitama gulped. Kaoruko removed her frilly turtleneck and was now wearing a black camisole that contrasted against her white skin.

He held the lace and shivered as his fingers pressed against her skin. Kaoruko closed her eyes and went still as Saitama tied the lace behind her neck.

"Done." Saitama said, feeling too much time was done in what appeared to be a few seconds.

Kaoruko looked behind her over to Saitama, in his hoodie and jeans, as she cupped the glowing necklace.

Smiling ever so slightly as she closed her eyes, she said, "Thank you Saitama. I appreciate it."

He looked away again, a recurring habit between the two. She smiles, and then he turns away, over and over again. "I just wanted to say thanks for letting me stay here."

Straightening up, he asked, "By the way, mind telling me what that research was all about?"

She nodded, pressing her thumb on her cheek. Finally, she said, "Close your eyes."

He did so.

The next moment he felt something soft against his lips, and an even softer and warm body pressing against his own. With a gasp, Saitama opened his eyes just as Kaoruko parted her lips from his.

She was smiling, and he was shocked, as they kept their eyes on each other for quite some time.

 **OoO**

 **Authors notes;** Just stations of canon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Finding Life: Level Three**

 _Author's note: Have you ever read your past work and cringed? Yeah that was me and the second chapter. I was like, wtf was the (May 17 2017) version of me thinking? An eye? Really? How the fuck am I going to explain this?_

 **OoO**

Kaoruko kissed him.

His auntie kissed him.

Saitama's mouth responded five seconds later. "What was that for?"

Kaoruko raised her elegant arm and cupped her chin. "Judging by your reaction, that was your first kiss. Right?" Her seductive smile didn't help his surprise. "Thanks for the privilege."

"You kissed me to check my experience?" Saitama nodded in respect. "Damn, Kaoruko. You're so thirsty."

Kaoruko licked her lips. "You think?"

"It was a joke!" Saitama raised his arms forward as if to defend himself.

"You're so strange, Saitama. You're nonchalant at certain topics but so reactionary towards others." Kaoruko gave a nostalgic sigh. "So different from the nephew I raised during my younger years."

"Same nephew you took advantage of?" Saitama raised a brow.

Kaoruko returned the expression. Huh. Blood relative indeed.

"Would you say no if I asked?" She raised her forefinger, beckoning him towards her.

Saitama simply crossed his arms and stared her down.

Kaoruko gave a satisfied smile. "You really are my nephew." She turned away from him. "Follow me."

He eyed the sway of her hips.

"Okay."

Kaoruko removed the necklace a bit later. Saitama felt stupid just giving her that ornament. An eye? Really? Was he for real? What was he thinking!? Kaoruko simply humored him but took it off not even an hour into it.

They ate an expensive dinner. A boiled lobster, roasted chicken and even vintage wine.

Saitama whistled. "What's the occasion?" Was it her birthday?

Kaoruko looked at him curiously. "It's dinner?" she treated the meals as if it was normal. Then again with her salary maybe it was.

Saitama sighed. They ate in silence. The delicious food was complemented by the rich flavor of the wine. If this was what he'll be eating for his entire stay he'd be happy to oblige.

"You inquired to the details pertaining my research earlier." Kaoruko waited for Saitama's nod before continuing. "Every woman that enters this house. I want you to make them yours."

If this was a cartoon he'd be the character to spit his drink and food into the table.

Luckily, it wasn't. Saitama chewed his meal and gulped his drink. Only then did he speak.

"That's it?" he asked.

"That's it," Kaoruko answered. "Basically, I'm going to teach you steps to the ways of love. You should be thankful."

Saitama narrowed his eyes. "You'd play as my wingman?"

Kaoruko gave a melodic laugh. "If needs be."

She lowered her elbows to the table, propped her arms, interlaced her fingers and leaned on the back of her hands.

"But you just kissed me," Saitama said. "Wouldn't having me dating other people make it harder for you to date me?"

Kaoruko blinked in surprise, and then gave an amused smile. "I thought you'd find it repugnant to date your aunt?"

"Why?" Saitama honestly asked. "You're beautiful."

Kaoruko's eyes widened at his words. "How blunt of you."

"I'm not one for societal norms. I know it's weird for an aunt to date her nephew, and even weirder that it's a teacher dating their student. But I'm not exactly normal, and hearing your ideas meant it runs in the blood.

Besides. I don't think there's a force in this world that can tell me what to do."

He dug his fork at the lobster claw and ate it. The sturdy claw broke against his teeth.

"Oh? Going to protect me from cops? Is that it?" Kaoruko clearly didn't believe him. Saitama didn't bother proving his strength. There was no need.

"If I have to," Was all he said.

Kaoruko straightened her back and lowered her forearms to the table, though the amused smile never left her face. "Such bravado. You can use it to be become as popular with girls as Prince Genji."

"Prince Genji?" Saitama parroted.

"The goal of my research is to get a deeper understanding of Genji Monogatari," Kaoruko clarified. "And for that, I need someone who understands what Prince Genji went through."

"So I'll need you to have sex with women."

"What?" Saitama looked at her like she was crazy.

"Don't look so doubtful. It's not that many. Only fourteen."

He chuckled. "And if I say no?"

Kaoruko's eyes narrowed. "No one's ever said no to me before."

"First time for everything."

"Then I'll have to persuade you." She leaned on the table and gave him a good view of her cleavage. She batted her eyelashes. "Would you be so kind as to tell your auntie what it is you wish? I'll make it come true."

"You." Saitama answered immediately, playing along with a smile.

"Ah." She winked. "Naughty boy, seeking my chastity when I've already been so generous. I'd kick you out for those ill manners of yours."

"Then kick me out." Saitama grinned. "But I've got a feeling you won't."

Kaoruko laughed once more. "Cheeky little brat aren't you?"

Saitama finished his wine. "Thanks for the meal, Kaoruko. It was delicious."

She waved his gratitude away. "No need for that."

He was about to leave the chair when she answered.

"Okay." Her eyes danced with mirth. "I'll allow it."

Saitama gaped at her. "You were serious?"

Kaoruko stared at him. "You weren't?"

"I thought you were joking!"

"I wasn't," Kaoruko sighed.

"I'm not having sex with fourteen women just to date my aunt!" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "And I can't believe those words just came out of my mouth."

"Then too bad. It's the only way you'll get me." She wagged her finger. "Willing to give up chance to date someone, and I quote, 'beautiful'?"

"Ugh. Why do you have to be so weird?" Saitama asked.

"I could say the same to you. You're actually making me bargain something other men will jump at the chance to do."

"I'm not, and I quote, 'other men'. What kind of horndog do you think I am, Kaoruko?"

"The one lusting after his aunt," she countered.

"The aunt who kissed him," he parried her words. "Why are we even debating about this?"

"Well, if you're just a prude you'd have left the table long ago." Kaoruko smirked. "That means you are interested in getting in my pants."

She crossed her arms under her breasts and caught his wandering eyes. She grinned haughtily like a chess player who won checkmate.

It was that smile that reminded him of a younger her. The teenaged Kaoruko would always play with him when he was bored, and console him when he was sad.

It brought him back to simpler times.

"You are such a pervert," Saitama hissed. He was actually blushing.

"Pot meet kettle," Kaoruko said.

"Did you have to make it sound like that?"

"Sound like what? You wanting to get into my pants? It's the truth, isn't it?"

"You are so stupid!" Saitama exclaimed.

And then he stared at her.

"I have a degree. What do you have?" Kaoruko laughed and waited for his counter. When he gave none she tilted her head. "Are you alright?"

This was it. This was the answer.

Kaoruko made him feel alive.

"You're unbelievable…" Saitama said in amazement.

"What do you say, Saitama? I'm willing to grant your wish." Her flirty smile made him blush, and he felt his heart race at the revelation of her effect on him.

He shook his head. What was even more amazing was that she was entertaining the thought at all, instead of saving herself for someone else. She was either promiscuous or she had feelings for him.

And he remembered one word that caught his attention among others. 'Chastity.'

Could it be? Kaoruko's a virgin? He couldn't believe it. And he wouldn't have cared even if she wasn't. He was not a child stupid enough to think casual sex didn't exist.

This was simply ammunition.

He gave a haughty smirk mirroring her own, and it was her turn to look in surprise when he said, "Kaoruko, you like me don't you?"

Her eyes glimmered with something like nostalgia. No doubt she too had a flashback to their past.

She raised a brow even as her smile turned into a challenging one. "Is that a fact?"

"It's going to be so much more," he said.

She harrumphed but didn't deny his words. "Are we in accord?"

He gave a playful laugh, noticing the small blush receding from her face.

"Yeah."

Instead of leaving, he decided to stay with her as Kaoruko began eating. She didn't touch the food at all during dinner, so he stayed and conversed with the girl as he waited for her to finish. The rest of the night was spent in idle chatter.

 **OoO**

The next day Saitama killed a mosquito girl.

He stared at the bloody remains on the forest outside K City. He was out on his morning jog in track pants and shirt when a mosquito girl led a swarm of insects through the forest to kill all the animals therein.

He took a simple jump through the canopy, destroyed branches that were on his way and swatted her back down to earth. Her body popped like a balloon. He returned to the ground with a thud, creating a small crater. Leaves fell from where the broken canopy, showering the ground with the frond.

A dead squirrel that looked mummified sprawled on the detritus, lost of all its blood. He wasn't able to save all the animals. A shame. Oh well. He shrugged, put his earphones back on and continued jogging.

"There you are. Go take a bath." Kaoruko looked at the red stain on his shoulder. "What happened there?"

"Paint," Saitama lied. "Wasn't looking where I went and accidentally bumped with someone holding a gallon of it."

He refrained from telling her the truth. He didn't want to freak her out so soon. Saitama normally didn't care about what other people thought of him, but Kaoruko was different. And for that he decided to keep his strength a secret from her for the time being.

"Well, get to it then. I thought you were old enough to know when to bath. Do I need to take your clothes off too?"

"I'm on it." He went up the stairs to his room, leaving Kaoruko with a glance.

He returned to the dinner table good as new. He wore a simple white shirt and black pants. Nothing like the beautiful dress that clung to Kaoruko's curvaceous body.

He licked his lips, gulped, and took his chance.

"Kaoruko."

"What is i-" She wasn't able to finish her question because he pressed her to the wall and pressed his lips to hers. It was brief, but she didn't push him away. Her breasts rubbed against his chest and she clutched his forearms as his tongue explored her mouth.

"Sorry," he said, not sorry at all. His hand wiped some saliva dribbling from his chin. "You just got me fired up is all."

She licked her lips and traced them with her forefinger. "My, my. Who said you could do that?"

"I thought we have an accord?" His grin made her roll her eyes.

"Best to keep it from public view, then." She sighed and rubbed her head. She held her waist like someone ready to scold a child. "Next time, tell me."

"Yes ma'am," he flippantly answered. She pouted and gave a light punch to his shoulder.


	4. Chapter 4

**Finding Life: Level Four**

 **OoO**

Saitama had a cousin named Momozono Asahi. She was his senior at Shiun University, twenty-one years old, and Kaoruko's niece. She wore a white blouse, a blue ribbon on her chest, and a frilly red skirt. She left her white sandals on the porch as she made her way to them.

"Ah! Saitama really is here!" she greeted him. She pushed her shoulder-length brown hair behind her ear and made a cute smile in greeting and raised her hand to give a small wave. He nodded to her and wondered why she was here.

"What are you doing here, Asahi?" Saitama asked.

She pouted. "That's not a way to greet your cousin, isn't it? It's been a long time since we've seen each other and you're treating me like a stranger."

He flicked the bangs on her forehead and rolled his eyes. "You're such a drama queen."

"Well at least I'm not balding at the ripe age of twenty-one," she teased with a wink. Turning to their aunt, she asked, "Kaoruko, what is it you want me to help you with?"

"Can you wipe the windows?" Kaoruko pointed to the bathroom. "The rags are in the overhead cupboards."

"What is she doing here?" Saitama asked loudly, his hands buried in his jeans pocket, and tilted her head as he looked at Kaoruko. She kept her arms crossed and scrutinized Asahi like a professor scrutinized their student's thesis during a defense.

"Saitama, I heard you came to our literature club?" Asahi asked him as she went on her chores. He did, but only after every other club turned him down due to the brawl on his first day at uni. "Oh, and congratulations on your dad getting married!"

Saitama finally realized what was wrong with the picture. Ignoring his cousin's words, he squinted his eyes and bit his thumb. His nose wrinkled in thought. This Asahi was very different from the bratty one years ago who hated doing work with a passion.

"You've changed a lot. I remember you used to hate helping people out with a passion." Saitama and Kaoruko were not exempted from her dislike when they were kids. He remembered the family gatherings whenever it was his or Asahi's birthday and she really went out of her way to stress how much she disliked manual labor of any kind.

"No, I haven't," she muttered, her voice soft enough for the normal person to barely hear her words. Saitama's enhanced hearing made it easier for him to decipher her whisper. "I still hate it."

"Then," he said. "Why are you here?"

"I..." she paused and forced a smile so fake he wondered how she managed to keep it. "I love cleaning."

"Ah. I get it." Saitama made a fist and lowered it to an open palm. "You're just trying to buy a good grade."

"Am not!" she denied futilely. He rolled his eyes.

Convenient. Family had its perks.

Kaoruko poked his shoulder. He glanced at her. She leaned forward and he slightly followed. The curls of her hair almost touched his skin as her lips approached his ear. He could smell the lovely perfume that complimented her already sexy body, making her more alluring.

"Make her yours," Kaoruko said. "She's your first one."

Asahi was humming a song to herself as she held a rag and cleaned the top of the washing machine in the washroom. He raised a brow. "My cousin?"

"What's wrong?" Kaoruko crossed her arms under her breasts, pushing it up slightly. He closed the door to the washroom to keep Asahi from overhearing their discussion.

"You were serious when you said about me having sex with fourteen women?" Although he kept a good poker face, his body was heating up from being in such a close proximity to hers.

"I do not make light of my experiments, Saitama." Her forefinger traced her lips, curling into a smile. "What's wrong?"

"...I can't." Saitama continued staring at her. Her playful smiles were akin to his poker face, he noted, in a sense, they were her default expressions and didn't actually convey what she felt if she felt anything. He wondered if they had an ancestor whose apathy was so great it became a genetic trait.

"It's because Asahi is a sister to me and I couldn't look at her with eyes of passion," Saitama said. "But I'd be lying. It's not Asahi I'm talking about, Kaoruko. It's you."

"Me." She raised a brow, lowered a hand to her distracting hip, tapped the floor and beckoned him to continue.

"I couldn't agree with what you said."

"That you have to touch your cousin?" She made a step around him. "Let's test that out."

Her smile turned into a blank expression as he blocked her path into the washroom.

"What are you doing," she stated in a flat tone. She wasn't asking. She already knew what he was planning.

"She can't be my first, Kaoruko. It has to be you." His hands held her waist and pulled her softer body against his chest. She briefly looked away, either to maintain her blank face or to look for an escape path he didn't know. Her gaze returned to him. She tested his strength by lightly stepping on his foot, and her own, smaller hands went under his shirt, fingers pushed against his abdomen, and the nails trying to bury into his skin.

No reaction.

She stopped altogether after realizing the discrepancy in their strength. With a curious gaze into his substantial abs, she scratched her chin and said, "You're a lot stronger than I remember Saitama. Your father failed to mention that you were working out on a gym."

"Because I wasn't," he said, keeping his hands on her waist. "Did everything by myself. One hundred push-ups. One hundred sit-ups. One hundred squats. Ten-kilometer jogging. Did it until my hair fell off due to the stress." He leaned his head beside Kaoruko's and whispered, "Do you still want this? I want you, Kaoruko, but I won't force you into anything. Just say the word and I'll leave the house."

"Don't leave," she said. His knee went between her legs and pushed her to the wall. She closed her eyes and sighed. When she reopened them, there was a small defiance in her eyes. "But once you have me, you will not withdraw from any of my commands. My body in exchange for yours. Commerce," she said, grinning a little as the professor inside her seeped through her words. "The foundation of society."

Saitama gaped as a rosiness spread across Kaoruko's milky white cheeks. "If you don't follow up on your end of the bargain I shall consider it terminated and have you leave immediately," she whispered, her lips so close he felt the warmth of her breath, and rubbed her thumb on his abdomen.

Saitama realized he was blushing when the heat didn't disperse from his cheeks.

"D-deal," he stuttered, uncharacteristically. The flirtatious grin on her flustered face was also out of character, he noted as their lips grew closer to each other. The fondness in her eyes was real, he noted, his fingers caressing her cheek. And then he lost all connection to his surroundings as she moaned into the kiss.


End file.
